Wind
March 5, 2009
The pure white snow fell outside without reason; earlier in the day it had been nearly 65 degrees out and was the windiest day I could remember. The kind of wind that you were sure could and would lift you off your feet and take you to some distant place if you weren’t careful.
“If only I was a little lighter. Just a few pounds and I’d be floating away to somewhere where life makes sense.”
I’d never really wished to be spirited away by the wind before, but in reality I’ve known the feeling my entire life. As if the wind was it’s own life force, whipping through the valley picking up who it decided was ready to go to wherever it ends up; something like the way Dorthy must have felt about somewhere over the rainbow.
It’s funny how childhood thoughts and dreams creep back into your adult mind when you least expect it. Standing outside at work in the wind and warm weather, the wind picked up so much that I was sure I was being chosen. I was the lucky one today. So long suckers, I’m out of here. Sadly the wind died down, like it always does and left me standing exactly where I was before.
I’d like to think that maybe a piece of myself was carried away in the wind that day. That maybe somehow the worst little broken parts are living in their paradises, where ever the wind ends. Living in what I once thought was my own paradise but would actually be my own personal hell. All the worst bits living in some strange broken world, where only our character flaws and insecurities can thrive. I’d like to think that was all true but in my heart I know it’s not. I know I’m just as broken now as I was before the wind touched my face. I know that no matter how much I want to believe that wind can somehow either carry us through the sky to some better place, somewhere peaceful, or even just the things about ourselves we could truly live without; I know it just can’t happen. I know that life is not the stuff of dreams, nor will it ever be.
