No. It couldn’t be that.
June 2, 2009
The phone’s upper right corner blinked incessantly on the corner of my desk, it reminded me of many things but not that I had a voice mail waiting. It reminded me of the constant headache that had pounded the inside of my skull for days. It reminded me of the ceaseless worry of always being alone. It reminded me of things I’d left unsaid, undone. The red light flashing in the corner of my eye was a constant reminder of everything I wish I could forget and leave behind.
It wasn’t the lights fault. It really had no choice to continue blinking endlessly in my peripheral vision. It wasn’t as though the light had decided, “Today seems like a good day to fuck with him. Yes, I will blink. Yes, I will bring up every painful memory in that man’s psyche.” At least I really hope it didn’t think that. Plotting and scheming the loss of my sanity. The more I think about it, the more that sounds right. Maybe it’s not me. Perhaps that light has been scheming against me from the first moment I walked into the office. It couldn’t possibly be my own madness come to peck away at the small, almost insignificant peace of mind I have left.
No. It couldn’t be that.
